The Urban Dictionary
by LiKaTaSa
Summary: A series of one-shots based off of definitions in the urban dictionary! (Most Recent: helicopter parent: A parent who hovers over their child, regardless of the child's needs or desires.) Ratings will vary for each chapter, right now the highest rating is T, and it's for language.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I am searching for inspiration anywhere I can find it. Urban Dictionary, help me out.

* * *

Rating: K+

Characters: Kid, Black Star, Soul, Patti, Liz, Maka, Tsubaki.

Word: _Testosterone_:_ A very powerful drug- transforms men into idiots!_

* * *

"Yeah right, you couldn't get _directions_ from that chick!"

"Excuse me? I could _totally _get her digits! Twice!"

"Why would you need her number twice?"

"STAY OUT OF IT KID!"

Kid rubbed his brow and leaned back in his chair, too frustrated to focus on his posture. Tsubaki touched his shoulder gently and he looked up at her with his lids half-closed. She smiled sympathetically. "We appreciate your maturity, Kid."

Kid shrugged and sat up straight again, turning his head towards Tsubaki and Patti. "I suppose it's only natural for them to be arguing like this. They feel like they've been challenged and so their testosterone is making them more aggressive to protect their pride."

"Testosterone?" Patti asked.

Kid opened his mouth to reply, but a feminine voice behind him interrupted him. "Yes. It's a hormone. Kind of like a drug, and sometimes used as one. It turns men into _idiots_."

Soul turned from Black Star and glared at Maka who'd just arrived to their lunch meeting. "What are you talking about? I'm not an idiot, this fool here's the idiot!"

Liz walked up next to Maka and snorted. "_Please_, you're getting worked up over a girl that left _fifteen minutes ago_. Who's the idiot here?"

Maka chuckled. "I say both of them."

"HA HA HA! See Soul? Even your own meister thinks you're an idiot!" Black Star guffawed.

Liz snorted again. "Yeah, Black Star? Everyone here thinks _you're_ an idiot, too."

Black Star's laughs ceased and the two blondes now had both boys glaring at them silently. Maka cheered with a small giggle. "Guess that shut them up."

Liz rose her hand for a fist-bump and Maka complied before turning to the rest of the group. "So what are we having?"

* * *

A/N: So... Maybe a series of one-shots with help from the Urban Dictionary? I dunno. REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Rating: K+

Characters: Soul, Maka (There is a bit of SoMa if you read it the right way)

Word: _1. Colorado Springs: __Colorado Springs is a decently sized town in Colorado that is about 80 miles south of Colorado's capital, Denver. There is absolutely nothing to do here, unless you're over 21, but still. There are movie theaters, and two stupid malls. Oh ya... Skate City. C-town (as we like to call it) is popular because it is right by Pikes Peak and Garden of the Gods is here. (Anyone up for hiking?) And Colorado's biggest Evangelical church is here, New Life Church. It is also home to millions of teenagers who have no lives, so they make one on myspace... because there's nothing to do in Colorado Springs. Oh, yes, and it's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. And it is notorious for uber fast weather changes._

* * *

Maka shivered helplessly as they trugded through the rocky domain of the mountain.

Soul glanced over at her and shrugged. "I told you you should have brought extra clothes."

Maka rolled her eyes and rubbed her arms with her hands to create friction. "Yeah, I know. It was warm a few hours ago..."

Soul shrugged again. "Well, it's a mountain. Two, it's Colorado Springs. Weather here changes it's mind like... well... I was going to say you, but you're stubborn even when you know you're wrong."

"If I could muster up the will to Chop you, I would."

Soul chuckled. "And here I was thinking I would pull out an extra jacket I packed since I knew you would blow me off and hand it to you."

Maka cast a skeptical look towards him. "Don't mess with me, Soul."

"I'm not." Soul pulled off his bag and set it down. He unzipped it, wary of it's bulkiness, and tugged at the yellow fabric on the top.

Maka grinned when he finally got it out. "It's your old jacket!"

Soul smirked and brushed a hand over the familiar fabric. "I figured it'd be safer to grab something of my own. Otherwise you'd probably hit me for going through your clothes."

"No, I wouldn't..." Maka thought it over for a bit, then sheepishly admitted, "Okay, maybe I would."

"Yeah, I thought so." He held the jacket for a moment then held it out to her. "Here. Put it on. Can't have my meister freezing to death."

She grabbed it tentatively, momentarily losing herself in the texture. She looked up at him. "Are you sure you wanna let me wear this?"

"Are you sure you want to freeze your toes off?" he retorted.

"It's not _that_ cold."

"Just put on the damn jacket."

She pulled it on quickly, her shivering ceasing almost instantly and a warm smile plastering itself on her face. They continued walking for a bit when she looped her arm through his. "Thanks, Soul."

"Er... No problem. It's just what cool guys do."


	3. Chapter 3

Rating: K+

Characters: Soul, Liz, Maka (There are ships all over this thaaang!)

Word:_1. kian: Cool guy that is very funny, and handsome, and all the girls love him._

* * *

Liz knocked on the door with all her might. "Makaaaaa! Maakaaaaa!"

She really, _really_ needed someone to talk to, and Maka seemed the only viable option. Patti had warned her about Jun, and would probably just tell Liz that she told her so, and Tsubaki was attached to the hip with Black Star and he'd mock her for the whole world to hear. Kid would go way too far and probably try to _kill_ the poor guy. And even if Liz definitely felt like shooting a hole through the guy's chest, she knew that she'd regret it after.

Maka, however, would understand Liz's desire to crush Jun and help draw up several gory and terrible ways to destroy him, and still have the clear sense of self to tell Liz when to call it quits.

Liz sniffed and dabbed at her eyes, cursing herself for being an angry crier. She slammed her fist against the door angrily. "Maka! Open up, it's about that filthy species you and I hate!"

_"WHAT?!" _The door flew open and Liz's hand froze mid-air.

There, in front of her, stood a pissed-off Soul Eater with one eye closed and his hair in even more of a disarray than usual. She quickly took a double-take then cleared her throat. "U-um... Hey, Soul."

He looked her over and his expression softened into a bored mask. He turned around, waving for her to enter behind him. "C'mon in."

Liz stepped in tentatively, quietly closing the door behind her. She was kind of in a man-hating mood right now, and Soul's groggy demeanor was making her feel conflicted.

She groaned and rubbed her temple. "Soul? Where's Maka? We need to plot the end of _man_kind."

Soul nodded and let his head roll so he could look at her with one crimson eye. "She's sick."

Liz rolled her eyes and let herself slide down the wall to the floor. "Great. Just fucking great."

"You look worse than usual."

She looked up and shot him a glare. "What now?"

Soul chuckled and groaned as he sat down in front of her. "I mean you look worse than you usually do when you get dumped."

Liz's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, only to find her words stopped by the deadpan expression on Soul's face. She closed her mouth and looked away. "I was gonna dump him anyways."

"And why is that?"

She turned back to him ready to tell him it was 'nunya', but instead she found herself being entranced by his swirling crimson eyes.

"Because he was a douchebag..."

"How is that?"

"He told me that I wasn't as hot as my sister and that he was just settling for me!" She felt her tears building up again.

"Now what kind of a jerk is he to say that?"

She sniffed angrily and glared at her shoes. "HE'S A HUGE FUCKING JACKASS."

"When did he tell you this?"

She rubbed her eye. Why was she finding herself pouring everything out to _Soul_ of all people? "A few weeks after we started dating. We got into a fight because he was checking out the bartender."

"Why would you settle for him?"

She glanced up at him, trying to figure him out, trying to understand why he was interested. He certainly didn't _look_ interested. "I- I don't know... He was cute."

"He was cute?"

"Hot, sexy, you choose. He was _it_. Too bad he's a douche behind that pretty face," Liz wiped her nose and scowled when she felt her pocket mirror vibrating. It was probably Kid.

"Ignore it."

Liz looked up to see Soul's bored expression looking back at her. "What?"

"Ignore it. This is your time."

Liz blinked and waited for the vibrating to stop before asking. "Why are you helping me?"

Soul shrugged. "Just because your confidant is sick doesn't mean you should go on suffering. I figure you need someone and I'm the next best choice after Maka."

Liz, for whatever reason, felt that she didn't even need the usual hour of ranting that she'd usually go on with Maka. Liz felt much better, just knowing that she had the cavalry to go to if she was ever in need.

Liz smiled slightly and looked over Soul. His white, disheveled hair, his deep eyes that were easy to lose yourself in, his caring side and 'cool' demeanor.

She gasped and shot up to her knees. "OH MY GOD, SOUL!"

Soul fell back, eyes wide with surprise. "W-what?"

They both heard a door open and looked to Maka's room to see a distressed girl with crazy bed head and a red face. "Whut's habbeding?"

Soul sighed and shot a glare to Liz who was holding her hands over her mouth and looking at him with awe. He stood up and padded over to Maka. She looked at him for a minute before recognition lit in her dull eyes and she relaxed. "Hey Soul. Whut's habbed?"

"Hey Snot-nose." Her eyes narrowed into a pitiful glare. "Go back to bed. It's just Liz."

Maka's eyes drifted over to see Liz and her eyes narrowed even further. "Was it Jud?"

Even with the sinuses muddling up her constants, Liz was able to understand her. "Yep. But it's cool. Your little kian helped me out. You can go back to sleep."

Maka's face seemed to redden a bit more, besides the ill flush, and she turned to Soul with a little smile. "Awww, Soul... She called you a kiehd."

Soul rose a brow but said nothing. He only reached forward to grab Maka's arm and gently led her back to the room and into her bed, where she instantly fell unconscious again.

He strode out angrily, but kept his steps silent as he left her room and met Liz's gleeful smile with a scowl. "You woke her up. Now get out."

Liz smiled and nodded. "I accept. Your protectiveness is only too sweet. You are definitely a kian. I bet if it weren't for the fact that all the girls know you're taken, you'd have a thousand papercuts from all the love-letter's you'd get."

Soul rolled his eyes. "I already get those. I have Maka throw them out on trash day. Now, what's a _kian_?"

Liz grinned. "The perfect guy! The guy all the girls love! That's you, Soul!"

Soul eyed her for a minute, his nose scrunching in confusion, then he frowned at her. "Great. Now get going. Kid's probably looking for you."

"EEP! I can't wait to tell Patti! But knowing her she probably alrea-"

He shut the door on her and sighed out tiredly. How did Maka spend so much time with her?


	4. Chapter 4

Rating: T (For language)

Characters: Kid, Patti, Liz, Black Star, Tsubaki

Word:_2. teletubbies: 4 reasons why i should own a gun_

* * *

"Thanks again for baby sitting her, I know she really appreciates having someone to relate to."

Tsubaki smiled and turned to see the two kids under her care arguing over the controller. "I'm sure Black Star appreciates having someone around to match his energy.

"NO, I WANNA WATCH TELETUBBIES!"

"HELL NO, THAT SOUNDS LAME! WE'RE GONNA WATCH WWW!"

"NOOOO! I'LL _SHOOT _YOU IF YOU DON'T GIMME THE REMOTE!"

Liz chuckled dryly. "Well, we both know who's going to win that one."

Tsubaki giggled uncertainly, not comfortable with Liz's approval of their bickering. "Well, I should be making dinner now. You just have fun on your date!"

"GAH, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! _I'M NOT DATING HIM! I HATE HIM! HE'S ANNOYING!" _Tsubaki pulled the phone away from her ear with a sigh. She didn't mean to set her off, Tsubaki was just teasing.

"Elizabeth, hand me the phone."

"NO! IT'S MY PHONE, WHY SHOULD I GIVE IT TO YOU?! BESIDES, IT'S _LIZ_. GET IT RIGHT."

There was some shuffling and cursing before Tsubaki heard the calm voice of Kid on the line. "Hello, Tsubaki."

"Hi, Kid. I didn't make Liz too mad, did I?"

Kid chuckled. "Don't worry about it. She already looks a bit regretful. Thank you again for watching Patti-"

"AH DEAR DEATH! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?!" A loud _thwam_ resonated through the small condo.

Tsubaki turned to see Black Star desperately scooting back from the TV. That was odd. "Black Star?"

She heard Kid laughing on the phone and brought her attention back to him. "Don't tell me the Teletubbies are on!"

Tsubaki rose a brow. "The what?"

Kid snorted, and when he spoke there were still traces of laughter. "Let's just say, they're one of the reasons I am glad I have two guns as weapons."


	5. Chapter 5

Rating: T for language.

Characters: Tsubaki, Black Star (Shippy ship ships that don't sink!)

Word: Jasmine: the most georgous person alive. There is no one like her. Usually shy and quiet. But once you know her you will never forget her from her amazing personality. she has a perfect body, and every guy wants her.

* * *

Black Star was fuming.

Of all the fucking women around, that bastard just had to hit on _his_.

He watched as Tsubaki smiled politely and giggled at the guy's pick up line. Black Star knew she didn't buy it, but she was too damn nice to tell the bitch to back _off._

But Black Star wasn't worried. Besides, it only irritated him. Tsubaki probably appreciated the attention. She definitely deserved it.

So he held back. He cursed to himself and imagined all the possible ways to kill the guy himself, but let it all happen. Innocent Tsubaki probably doesn't even know she's being hit on. She's modest like that, and that's what Black Star likes about her.

Tsubaki, however, was _not_ appreciating the attention. She was more focused on the fact that she didn't know where Black Star was and this man was just keeping her from finding him.

"I'm Jun, by the way."

Jun... that name sounded vaguely familiar, but she didn't have time to ponder it. She smiled. "I'm sorry, Jun, but I really need to go now. It was nice talking to you!"

She turned to go, but Jun stepped in front of her. "Might I just say, that you are stunning, a true Jasmine."

She smiled and giggled. "I'm afraid I'm more of a Tsubaki."

Jun laughed. "And a sense of humor too! You really are just... amazing."

She nodded, not quite invested into his words and scanned the area. He continued praising her and she continued eyeing her surroundings until she heard something.

"I'm not sure why you stay with that awful meister of yours. You deserve much better."

She froze, the polite smile slowly fading away. She looked Jun up and down before finally recognizing him. But she wouldn't let him know that.

"I, for one, think you'd be much more successful with me." He flashed her a smile, a dimple showing itself in his right cheek, and she frowned a little bit.

"Who are you to judge my choice of meisters?"

He blinked in surprise, then drawled, "I just think you're a bit confused. You don't know who's good for you."

She grit her teeth. She was becoming much angrier than she usually got, and it was all because of the greasy vibes she was getting from this boy. "Excuse me, I need to go."

She pushed past him and he grabbed her wrist. "Now, hold on a minute-"

She turned swiftly to tell him off, and was interrupted by a wonderfully familiar voice.

"The lady said she needed to go."

She swiveled her head around to see Black Star standing only feet behind her. She grinned on the inside, proud with his improvement as an assassin. "Black Star."

Black Star ignored her, bent on glaring the other boy down. "Let her go."

Jun snorted and pulled her towards him, causing Tsubaki to let out a surprised yelp and fall back against him. "I'm sorry, but she just agreed to be my partner."

"No I didn't!" She brought her free arm up and sent her elbow diving towards Jun's stomach. She made impact and he released her quickly, falling back and clutching his stomach, heaving. She turned and glared down at him. "You may have thought that I didn't have the voice or will to defend myself, and you might be right. But I will, at all costs, defend my meister."

She felt a warm gloved hand touch her shoulder and she turned and smiled at Black Star. "Hi. Where have you been?"

"Oh, you know. Lurking in the shadows, waiting for my cue. I guess I was a little late this time," he said sheepishly.

She put her hand on top of his. "No way. You were right on time."

The pair smiled at a while longer before she ushered Black Star away from the coughing boy and distracted him with her home-made lunches.


	6. Chapter 6

Rating: T (for language)

Characters: Soul, Maka, Black Star

Word: : A word that means something different to each person who uses it. A person's home can be the place where they live, the place they grew up, or the place where the people they care about live. In the case of some people, home is a variable concept, changing dependant on the placement of another person or object, or a person may even consider his or her own body the only 'true' home.

* * *

"No, Crona didn't get in a fight! Why would you think that?"

Soul was barely listening to his friends' conversation. He was still hung up on a phone call he'd gotten at the house earlier.

"Well, you said he got a _crush_!"

Soul sighed. This was not his day. An idiot back home, and an idiot here. Much like the person of topic, Soul was beginning to doubt his ability to deal with this situation.

_Come back home, little brother._

How many times had he heard that phrase? Soul was beginning to become sick of it.

"Dear Death, you're slow. Black Star, must you be so ignorant to every bit of teen colloquialism?"

_We miss you, little brother. When will you be back home_?

Right, they miss him. That was a flat out lie. Soul could still feel the sting of his father's words as he packed up to go the the DWMA.

_You're leaving family, your home, for this? This weapon bullshit?_

"Collo-what-now?"

And no matter how many times Soul would tell Wes that, no, he wasn't going home anytime soon, he kept insisting.

_This weapon crap isn't you, Soul. Music, piano, wealth. That's you. _

And his father's words definitely didn't draw Soul back home, either.

"Colloquialism. It's an informal expression that isn't generally used in formal-"

"Bah! Shuddup! You're hurting my brain with your weird dictionary thing!"

"What? What 'dictionary thing'?"

Soul sighed. "You're a human dictionary, Maka. Everybody knows that."

Maka rolled her eyes and stood up. "Well, I'm just going to take that as a compliment and grab some water."

"Yeah, do that and let me heal my worn out brain." Black Star proceeded to sink even further into the partners' couch and grab the remote to their TV.

Soul stood and followed Maka into the kitchen, more out of instinct than anything else. Whenever he felt particularly lost or 'angsty', he naturally gravitated towards his meister, his wielder, the one how gave him purpose. Or, at least, that's what his blood said.

When they were in the kitchen, Maka reached over to and turned on the sink. She turned back to Soul and jut her chin out at him. "What's up? Talk to me while our burden's still incapacitated."

"S'nothing."

Maka rolled her eyes and walked up to stand in front of him. He was only about two inches taller than her, so she didn't really have to look up, and she met his red eyes with her own. "Soul. Tell me what's wrong."

"What is Soul Evans?"

Her head drew back and her eyes widened with surprise. She smiled slyly and chuckled. "Soul Evans is an insecure piano prodigy from a wealthy family."

He looked down. "Huh."

"Soul Eater," he looked up, wondering how cheesy she was going to be, "is an annoying, immature weapon obsessed with being 'cool'."

Soul snorted and shook his head, starting to turn around. "Thanks, Maka. Y'know, I don't need you to beat up on me right now."

She reached forward and grabbed his wrist, grinning at him with amusement in her eyes. "Soul 'Eater' Evans, however, is an amazing demon scythe with fantastical piano skills and is the best partner a scythe meister could wish for."

Soul laughed and she giggled and then she cocked her head. "Now what's up?"

"I don't know. Wes has been calling more than usual."

"Your brother?"

"Yeah, asking me when I'll be going back home and such."

She scrunched up her nose with confusion. "What? Doesn't he know you're already home?"

His eyes widened. "Wha-"

"Cause if he doesn't, that must explain why he keeps asking. Be sure to let him know you're already home, alright?" She turned off the water then strode past his frozen form to the couch. "Black Star! Do _not_ rent a movie without asking first!"

Soul cocked his head towards their banter and grinned. So that's what Wes had been asking.


	7. Chapter 7

Rating: T

Characters: Wes, Soul's Mother, Soul (Y'know, I was thinking Spirit and Maka, but then I was like, nah, too easy. And then I was like, this is _so_ not about the word anymore. Whatever.)

Word: 4. helicopter parent: A parent who hovers over their child, regardless of the child's needs or desires. An over protective parent who does not want their child to face any difficulty without their parent's help.

* * *

"Wes, darling, are you really going to drink red wine while wearing a white suit?"

Wes stiffened, his hand tightening around the bottle of _Bond Quella_, and forced himself to set the glass down gently. He smiled and turned to his mother with a light chuckle. "Of course, Mother. You're absolutely right, what _was_ I thinking?"

His mother smiled warmly at him, her teeth as white as the pearls strung around her neck, and her auburn hair falling in ringlets down her back. She approached him gracefully, her hands pressed together tightly. "I know you're nervous, Wes, sweetheart. But you shouldn't worry, I'm sure the eulogy you wrote was beautiful."

He nodded, his chest tightening with grief. "You've already heard it at the rehearsals, remember, Mother?"

"Yes, but I'm sure that you've done work with it?"

Wes sighed. "I apologize, but no. I've been otherwise preoccupied."

His mother's smile faltered. "Right. What with your brother visiting us. What a terrible time for a visit, wouldn't you say?"

Wes turned away from her. "He's not coming for a visit, Mother. He's here for the service. He's the reason we postponed it."

She frowned slightly. "Yes, I remember now. Isn't it rather unorthodox to change the date of a funeral simply to help it fit one's schedule? Your father has a business trip, yet he didn't ask us to wait another month."

"Grandmother wouldn't have wanted him to miss her. This is also a favor to your mother," Wes defended his brother discreetly.

"Oh, this whole business is making me feel awfully old. Is my hair turning gray, sweetheart?" A crafty little woman, she was. Changing the subject off of her mother before she dared to cry. While incredibly inappropriate, Wes understood. This was their life. They had a window of time to grieve, then they had to pretty up for the public. But, unfortunately, the return of Wes' little brother was forcing Mother to draw up her shields. Soul wasn't family to her anymore.

He heard a knock on the study's door and moved to answer it, only for the door to open itself. Soul stepped in slowly. He kept his gaze averted as he closed the large door behind him. "Wes. Aura."

Wes smiled sadly at his little brother and his mother turned to the bookshelf to avoid looking at the younger boy. Wes ignored his mother's childish behaviour and strode forward towards Soul, arms out. He wrapped them around his brother quickly, who didn't hug back. "Little brother..."

Wes pulled back, still holding on to Soul's shoulders. He smiled sadly again, his eyes narrowing with sympathy at the tears swimming in his brother's eyes. "Little brother..."

Soul rolled his watery eyes, not daring to smile back at the only member of the Evans who he considered family anymore. "You said that already."

"Yes, he did." The boys turned to their mother who was only looking at Wes. "I hope you won't be coddling your brother all evening. There are others to talk to, and I'm sure the boy doesn't need the unwanted attention."

Wes almost glared, but instead smiled sheepishly. "Of course. Mother? Would you mind getting me my Azule suit? I'm afraid I left the white wine in the cellar and the keys are locked inside."

Wes' mother gasped. "Wesley! How many times have I told you never to go into the wine cellar _with_ the keys? You know how worried I was that this would happen after-"

"Mother..."

She continued chastising him even as she stormed out of the room.

Soul let out a breath. "I didn't think I'd see her till the service."

Wes sighed. "She's been attached to the hip with me since you left. I can't even go to the restroom without her listening at the door to make sure I washed my hands."

The two chuckled at that comment, then Soul spoke up quietly, "Thank you for extending the invitation to my meister."

Wes shrugged. "Don't thank me. I knew you'd need the extra support, and Mother shouldn't complain as long Father's seat isn't empty."

"In that case, you'll be hearing a lot of complaining." Soul looked up at Wes, guilt burning in his eyes. "I can't stay for the service, and Maka hasn't come at all."

Wes' eyes widened. "What?"

Soul looked down. "I came to offer my condolences and learn where she'll be buried so I can pay my respects privately."

Wes nodded, his eyes burning. He'd been hoping for the support of his little brother today, but he supposed it was unlikely from the start. "And your meister, Maka? She's the reason you can't stay?"

Soul cleared his throat. "Well, yeah. If she was able to, she'd drag me here herself. She's in the hospital right now nursing some broken bones."

Wes felt his lips twitch. "And you're missing your grandmother's funeral to take care of Maka?"

Soul nodded slowly.

"Then why did you come?"

"Maka told me I had to at least come up to pay respects to my family." Wes was surprised. Soul didn't like his family, he wasn't going to come at all for his grandmother, and evidently not for his brother, and yet he came for his meister.

Wes grinned. "Well, what are you still doing here? Go back to your girl and help her back to health. After all, Granny's already gone, your Maka isn't."

Soul flinched at Wes' comment and turned to go.

"It's alright, Soul. If a girl you care about needs you, then Grandmother will understand. She always has, after all." Wes smiled, his cheeks tingling with the first tears of the night and the pressure from his grin.

Soul turned at smiled at Wes. "Right. She always has... thank you."

Soul left and Wes wandered over to the wine cabinet, pulling out the _Bond __Quella_ again. He eyed the bottle, ignoring his tears. His brother was growing up, finding things he cared for of his own will. Even a girl.

Grandmother would definitely want Wes to encourage Soul in that department.

He pulled out the already loose cork. "You're absolutely welcome, Soul."


End file.
